It's Friday, it's FRIDAY, Friday is my favorite day!

    Remember that song from JR High?  Oh the good ol' days. 
So, on my drive to work today, I had a million and one things running through my mind that I thought would be good to blog about.  I get to work, sit in my chair, pull up this blog thing, and............Nothin.  Everything that I wanted to tell you, GONE. But, I have to warn you, this may get LOOONNNNGGG.  So feel free to stop reading whenever you please because frankly, I wont be offended due to the fact I just want to blab and bitch for a while. 

    So, I will do my best to remember.
First off...I feel like my blog completey SUCKS.  I'm no good at putting pictures on here, making them look good and having a fun layout that everyone envies{did I spell that right?}.  Nor, am I very good at writing.  Oh well.. it's not the colors and the layout that should make people want to read my blog right?  Hopefully, i'm interesting enough to want to make people WANT to read this :) Although, I wouldn't know because no one comments dang it!  So, this is your challenge to tell me how i'm doing or what I could do to jazz things up a bit eh.

    Now...second, i'll let you in on a few{or too many} things that have been going on lately.  Remeber when I was contemplating on moving back home?  I was worried it wouldn't be the right decision and if it was something that I really needed?  Well.  I couldn't have made a better decision.  I really enjoy living there.  It's not quite ideal to the situation that I'd like to be in, however, for the next few months, having a free place to stay, a pool to swim at, and free food to take as I please, will be good enough for me!  When I lived in SLC, I worried about so many things and I felt like I had really bad anxiety.  I thought it would only get worse being around my family.  Don't get me wrong, I love the fam.  However, I just go crazy because I feel like the olds{momma and poppa bear} have hit that spot...you know, that place where you're stuck between a rock and a hard spot, I believe we all go through this, maybe more often then others.  It's tough to try an motivate the unmovtivated.  I would love to get my parents out and go on bike rides, or even get them to go on nightly walks like they used to do{every night}.  They talk about it, but getting them to do it is another thing.  My dad is having a tough time b/c his leg has all sorts of pains in it and has been having breathing problems with his asthma, and all he needs is to get huffin and puffin and get into more trouble.  My dad is the strongest man I know and has always been such a hard worker to provide for his family.  I don't know how he does it, but he gets by and makes ends meet off of one income.  I have been so ignorant over the past few years, not really understanding how serious his breathing condition really is, only because he doesn't show it, until just recently.  HA, and having to live with my wonderful creative mother, who loves to collect, make and come up with every idea possible before finishing the last, bless his little heart.  Let's just say, she's got a LOT of stuff! So, being home to kind of help out with groceries or cleaning is ok for me.  It kind of helped me open my eyes and appreciate things more, knowing really what it's like to live on your own, and depend on no one but yourself.  Living at home, having to buy laundry detergent or toilet paper really is no big deal.  Where as before, I would have been thinking "REALLY DAD?"  No one else's parents make them buy that stuff!  They live at home!  I used to get sooo angry when I'd have to buy my own shampoo and toothpaste.  I felt like I wasn't supposed to do that while living at home b/c none of my friends did, so in that case, I felt shafted.  So.. it's kind of nice feeling good about something I couldn't have cared less about in the past.  

    So{I feel like i've used this word too much?}, my work couldn't get any cooler I tell ya.  I know, I know, I should be thankful{and I AM} to have a job right now that pays decent wages considering the economy.  But, let's not promise things to everyone that, let's be honest, may never happen.  I was told I'd see this raise on my one year, and when that day came?  No raise, no explanation as to why I didn't get one, until I asked.  I understand that we are in a freeze on giving raises, but at least tell me there is a posibility that I won't be seeing this raise when I have my hopes up for a long while.  And also, I was pretty excited to get the lunch we were told about from the NCAA tournament we all participated in and once it was over... yes, again.. nothing.  Possibly they just forgot, which happens when things get busy, but C'MON PEOPLE!  It's bad enough that they blocked my only contact to the outside world{during the 8 hours that i'm here that is}: Gmail.  So now, I can't chat it up with red next door{Gen ;)}, nor can I keep myself up to date on a regular basis with my emails i'm gettin and when I do, it's an overwelming list of things that I won't have time to read.  So, I just stick to this blog thing, and heaven forbid they block this {fingers crossed!}.  I like to play solitare or minesweeper while I am waiting on hold for the pharmacy/adjustor/ carrier and all that jazz, and as I go to pull it up yesterday, to my surprize... BLOCKED.  Ah MAN!  What am I going to do with myself...{I promise, I really am a good hard worker even though through this post it doesn't seem like it {tee hee}}.  I just need side things to get me through my day, because having A.D.D{or so it seems}, sitting at a computer for 8 hours is probably the hardest thing i've ever had to do.  I'm surprised it has been working out this well for me. {Are you bored yet?...} But, with all that being said, I do however, enjoy my job.  I enjoy all the people I work with, it's fun to see what goes on in others' everyday lives and to at least have the opportunity to talk to each other being a call center type job and all.  I have a friend who just got a new job and they can't even have their phones on, nor are they aloud to turn around and chat it up... oh how much trouble that would put me in.  I'd be as good as taking a dirt nap and rolling over dead... they'd have to muzzle me, or tie me to a pole so I didn't get up and wander.

    So, as busy as my month has been, i've loved actually having my weekends planned.  Brando and I went to Powell, followed by Vegas 2 weekends ago, and last week{on my return from Vegas}, my older brothers flew/drove in.  I couldn't have been happier.  I haven't seen JR in over a year{ugh} since we visited him in New York, and Jeramie up and moved where the wind{or job} took him: Colorado.  It was so fun getting to hang w/ my little nephews who are getting so big and so cute.  It was the best feeling the other night when I went to drop off Benson's glasses and Ethan saw me walk through the door and right away he darted towards my leg wrapping his tiny arms around me to give me a hug.  I hope that it will always be like that.  I don't want to be that aunt that the kids don't really know because we never see each other.  And same goes for when Junior has his little tikes.  But i'm sure, with as close as we are, that will never happen.  Brandon, Leeser, Junior and I went bowling the friday he was here and it was so much fun!  Ricky is such a tard and every time he bowled he almost fell over or he ended with this goofy stance that made him look like he was striking a pose.  After every turn he'd take, the hand went up, and Ole'! That's what we kept saying.  I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.  Saturday, we attended Benson's baptism and it was really cool!  I can't believe he is 8!  That means, I am getting old{ish} and my brothers aren't teen  agers like I always imagined them to stay.  We went to Robyn's parents house after and I think that's one of the most memorable fun times i've ever had with them!  Robyn is always so good and so busy with playing mom, she never really shows her inner kid that I saw on saturday.  The kids did their own thing, and we did ours.  Robyn, you're a riot...I don't know if you remember playing "bum wars" on the tramp growing up, but let's just say we did that and it was HILLARIOUS.  I remember being part of the "kid" group in the fam and the older people always getting on the older kids for being too rough with us, or "no big kids on the tramp while the little kids are playing" only because we'd get hurt.  Yeah, well I never though the time would come that I would be that BIG kid that had rules and restrictions from the tramp.  So what do we all do?  Decide to go jump on the tramp...Let's say 5 grown ups on the tramp is SCARY.  I'm surprised we didn't break it{or us for that matter}.  After that I somehow got stuck into playing Tag with 8 year olds.  That was only fun for so long and then of COURSE the hose was brought into the picture.  I however, made it home dry and didn't get soaked.  Not too sure how that happend.  But, yeah.. That REALLY happend.  SUCKERS.
    So, last night Kendra and I went to dinner and it was so good to hang out again.  I haven't seen her in forever and I haven't felt like i've been the best friend that she's needed me to be, or given what I have to offer lately.    I haven't really felt like i've lived up to anyones expectation of what a friend should be toward anyone lately... But, I guess I have my personal thoughts on that.  I'm still trying to figure things out and it's not anything towards anyone. Anyways, we went to good old Spag Fac last night and it was like a walk down memory road with all of the people we used to work with{not really saying it's a good thing}.  Hayden is getting so big and he is so dang cute.  I seriously miss hanging out with that girl everyday like old days.  We use to have sooo much fun and we did things out of the ordinary and we were spontaneous and didn't care what anyone thought{run on sentence? I think so}.  Now, i'm boring and lame and have nothing to offer haha..

  That's what I miss. 

How lucky I am to have a best friend like that.  Even though things have changed so much and we have more responsibilites, and don't see each other as often as i'd like, I still consider her my best friend{and Kendra, you still better be getting that first tattoo with me like we always say!}. 

    IDK...it's a weird place i'm in right now.  I don't feel like i'm where I need to be when it comes to my job, my place of living, just everything.  I don't know if it's because I feel like the whole world is progressing and moving forward and doing things that I am just not ready to do yet?  I am not ready to get married.  I love Brandon to death, and I WILL marry him.  However, right now is not our time-YET.  I feel like I have life waiting for me outside of Utah.  I want to be able to explore the world, move places where i've wanted to live and I feel that if I were married, I wouldn't be able to find the money to do these things.  It's nice because I feel like the only person who knows where i'm coming from is Brandon.  He always is there by my side and we have a plan, and plan to stick to it.  Everyone thinks it's weird that I want to move out of state.  The questions come rollin' "Well why would you want to leave your family behind?"  I love my family, I do.  They are my life, but I can't live my life around theirs, making it the reason to hold me back.  My mom has always told me, make goals, to have dreams, and to work toward those dreams and not to let anything hold me away from them.  We all grow up, we all move away from our families and do what WE strive to do.  I don't plan on making it permanent, however, I don't want to grow up, have kids and wish that I would have done something while I had the chance, like my parents always talk about.  These are just some of the things that run through my busy mind on a daily basis.  

   So, on another note {and hopefully the last-don't say I didn't warn you about a novel}, I think this is a good place to stop.  But before I do that, I want to share with you where i'll be hanging out this weekend!  Yes, I know, another weekend that I will be spending my time somewhere besides SLC-Gen threw together a little weekend stay at her family's time share in Heber.  It's called Zermott, and there we will be hangin out at the hot pots(or springs), eating gelato, golfing and hopefully shopping!  It should be a good time. 

OoOk...my fingers hurt. 

love//cmar

Sometimes, that's all you need

So, last night was a really good night for me. Unfortunately, I didn't take any pictures of it, however, it was a really nice, laid back and involved a lot of takin it easy, kind of night. I have my own pictures of it in my head, and that's all that matters. Brandon and I decided to go hit a bucket of balls at the Old Mill golf course and we were slightly hesitant due to the weather. We decided we had nothing to lose and a little rain would add some fun. Brandon gave me lots of pointers and helped me perfect my far from perfect swing. There was actually a time that he was standing behind me, his hands on mine, trying to show me what I need to do. It felt like when we first started dating all over again. It was perfect. The bright pink sunset, with dark grey clouds, the smell of the warm rain, and the green driving range out in front of us. No one was there but him and me. No pictures would have done any justice anyways...and sometimes, that's all we need. Unfortunately, it started to get too dark and we couldn't see our balls anymore so we finished what we had left, and went to get some dinner. We were FAMISHED I tell you. We decided to get take out at the chinese restaurant called Dragon Isle, up the road from Brandon's house. I LOVE Chinese food and it was a great choice on my part ;) We took our food home, sat on the couch, while we watched The Sandlot. That movie never gets old and I always forget how much I love that show. After that, I couldn't take much more and fell asleep while B found something else that he wanted to watch. All in all, it was a good night and made for a perfect{yet unplanned} date :)

oh- and on a side note, I decided that my next big purchase will be a nice camera...Like maybe a really cool professional Nikon or Olympus one. Obviously something somewhat affordable, meaning under a thousand dollars kind of one. It's been on my "to do" list since photography class in high school and I told myself once I bought my TV and mattress, I could save for the camera...

So...

Tv: Check!

Mattress: Double check!(only b/c it was a gift from Gma and Gpa b/c they didn't like it(?!)..yesss)

Camera: Soon to be check!

I'll keep you updated :)

My month in pictures

Ok, I know i've been promising you all pictures...HERE they are! Finally...These are just some of the things I have been up to over the last month.

Weddings (three)

Bee's Games

Brando's 23rd birthday

BBQ's with friends

Going shooting out at the

west desert with the guys
(first timer ;))

Lake Powell trip with Sigma Nu

And of course...

VEGAS!

So, i'm not too sure why the layout ended up like this. I am too lazy to figure it out since it takes forever to upload pictures and get them all the way I want them to look. Ha...just so you know that I AM aware of the way it's all spacey and ish. Oh well-what do ya do, it is what it is!
Well... there you go! Have a good weekend :)

This weather is...

I seriously can't believe that it's not only raining, but snowing today! The pools are supposed to open up in one week and today we have winter my friends. I am not happy about this either. Hopefully this is the last of it until next year! I just want to go out and play in the sun, go golfing, lay out, and wear my shorts and flip flops. Well... it's a good thing I decided to keep my winter clothes in my closet for another week or else I would be naked today, or just freezing cold! So on a better note, my weekend was marvelous. Could have used a warmer sun, but at least we got it because we were not supposed to have sun at all until tuesday from what I was aware of. This is how my weekend panned out.....

I didn't do too much on friday, just went out with Chelle and Gentri to Ichiban! YUM-Sushi is the BEST. Poor Chelle didn't have much to choose from except the family size noodle (which mainly came with shrimp and that's all). If everyone just gave sea food a chance (or 5--like me lol) they probably would like it! It must be a texture thing, or possibly the ugly looking animal from the sea going into my mouth is a no-no type thing? haha... That's the reason I used to hate it. Oh and that smell... might I add, I still only like SOME things! Saturday night, we went to Brandon's mom's best friend's daughters wedding(did you get all that?) and it was really pretty! Blair looked beautiful and they looked really happy. Brandon however, caught the garter! ow Ow! Funny thing is, I caught the boquet at Kiesha's wedding... Uh-O-you know what that means ;) (haha, sike!). I think Brandon was meant to catch that dang thing at some point because at Kiesha's wedding, he didn't even stand with all of the guys to catch hers and it hit him in the chest and fell to the ground as he avoided it! So, he didn't get that one, but it sure did have his name on it! I enjoyed all of the weddings we had this last week and it sure made me tear up watching my cousin walk down the isle... She looked incredible. It was probably the most fun i've had at a wedding yet. Only because they didn't do everything as traditional and formal as all the other weddings i've been to. They jazzed it up a bit and did things that got everyone involved and they didn't have a line that you had to stand and wait to see the bride and groom. Best of all they had a potato bar. I thought that was so creative(and so tasty!)!

So, to end the weekend off, Brandon's parents had a BBQ for his 23rd birthday...Boy my man is getting old! We finally decided that it was time that are parents met. For the FIRST time. Oh geez, we were so nervous! It turned out awesome though. Our parents loved each other and had so much to talk about! It was really cool because I feel like that was a big step in our relationship and it made me feel like I was that much closer to his family. It was my first experience having my parents meet his, because it's never happend before! Brando's family is so welcoming and kind, I couldn't imagine being apart of any other! Now i'm ok with our family getting together more often and not stressing out to the max about it...after my parents left Brandon gave me a hug and we both had to laugh at each other and say how dumb we were for being so nervous over nothing!

So, I feel like we have had something every week for the past 4 weeks, whether it being weddings, Lake Powell, birthdays, moving and whatever else seems to have come its way, but it's been really fun. I am really looking forward to Vegas this weekend over memorial! It's going to be great. I know there will be a lot of people, but it will be a good way to celebrate my favorite boys birthdays together. Last year Chelle and I threw a birthday party for B and Aaron and it was a blast. This year we decided since Aaron is turning 21, and all of us are 21, it would be fun to go to Vegas.. and this time, it will actually be WARM! I don't know if I have grasped on to that concept yet. With all this rain, shine, snow, hail, wind...my body is confused and doesn't know what to expect for tomorrow. But gosh dang it, i'm going to be dressed for summer no matter how cold it is outside, because it's SUMMER! So, I still owe you all the pictures from these last few weeks and I will get them up soon. I usually do it all from work but they decided to get real cool and take away our only source to the outside life: Email. So, since I NEVER get online at home, it's going to be really hard to get pictures loaded on my computer(desk top might I add) which will make it even more of a pain since it isn't my own! So I promise, I will make an effort to get all my life posted and the next blog will be something to look at, rather than to read :)

Love *cmar

Hey there...uh, Jim!

Why hello everyone... I am back from what made a FANTASTIC week and end to my weekend. Hope you didn't miss me too much. Because, right now, i'd rather be back in Powell than work! So I have a bunch of pictures but no time to get them up here but will do so soon! So sorry, this might be a little boring for you w/ no pictures. Brandon and I spent the week in Lake Powell with Sigma Nu. It was a blast... The weather was ok, it definitely could have been warmer with out that dang wind, but it was super fun being with all of his fraternaty brothers and making new friends with new faces. There were 3 house boats with about 20 to each boat. Luckily Brando and I got our own room on the boat and didn't have to pitch a tent. We probably would have blown away with how hard the wind was blowing. Brandon was way ready to go home on Thursday and I could have stayed forever. I completely forgot about the real world and put all my troubles behind me. We got back onto the truck and I realized I had 2 bachelorette parties (1 which I threw) the next night for my cousin and another family friend. They were both pretty fun but I was ready to call it a week and go crawl into my bed. On saturday we all went to our friend Mike's house for a BBQ which was pretty relaxing and I still feel bloated from it! Yesterday Brando and I went to the Bee's game and got a little more sun. It was so nice. Now, I'm back here at work, which blows but should be alright. For a minute there, I forgot what it was like to have a job! That's what a vacation is supposed to be like right!?

Feeling a little bit taken advantage of?

I don't think anything is worse than the feeling of someone who is trying to take advantage of you. We(my roommates and I) have run into a wall with our landlord, who believes that it is fair to take advantage of us because of our age. Because we haven't reached that "maturity" level were her exact words. Apparently, when you are young you are not capable of knowing what it's like to have been renting until you are 50. Our house is so sparkling clean I would EAT of that dang floor. But no, it's not good enough for her and all she is after is our money. Well...if she honestly feels that what she is doing is morally correct, then she'll hold that with her, and she knows what is right and that what she is doing, is not. Not that any of this is really anything that you really care to hear... But, I just needed to vent. A LITTLE more! :) Do good things to people, and in return you will be rewarded by good. How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. -Wayne Dyer

love//cmar

Back in the swing of things

So this weekend was the one... I packed up all my things and back home I went. This weekend was by far a crazy one, but a very fun filled one as well. I was a little flustered friday and saturday b/c I had no idea where anything was, my car was and still is packed with my lovely belongings, and my room was literally boxed up and turned upside down. Finally found a new owner for the washer and dryer {which means mula in the pocket-cha-ching!} , and a place for that bloody love sac. I'm so happy for having my boyfriend at times like these because he cares about me so much! He was so helpful in getting my room packed up and moved all the way to Herriman, and lucky me, he came over on sunday and put it all together {and watched a lot while I unpacked boxes ;) }I had 2 bridal showers, 1 jazz game the night of moving, and a whole town house to clean and could not have done it with out the help of my wonderful friends. As much as I was not looking forward to being back at home, it feels soooo good and I'm really happy about my decision. My new room is SO cozy and I already love it more than my one at the townhouse. Now for the TV issue... no TV. Internet, but no TV-nunzo. Haven't been able to figure out why my internet won't pull up on Duckie {my laptop}, but it says it's connected. Oh fabulous technology and me not being quite caught up. oh well.

So, all in all it made for a great weekend. Can't wait for Gen's house to be done so we can hang out and make new memories!

Things I'm looking forward to:

1-Cinco De Mayo...party at work!

2-Brando's softball games {please don't rain!}

3-LAKE POWELL on sunday!!!! WAHOO! Summer VK #1 has been long awaited for and is finally here :)

4-Both of my brothers coming home for Benson's babtism.

5-all my bajillion weddings in the next few weeks!

{Sorry there were no pics-Coming soon!}