My lasts

So.

as I lay here in bed I started to think... tomorrow is a big day.  The next chapter of my life.  The day I decide to move out with my best friend.  I know many people who read this may have mixed feelings about this because we are doing things a little backwards.  Moving in together...and we're not married yet.  But it's ok, I promise.  I'm ok with this 100% and it's what's right for US and I couldn't be happier.  However, I wouldn't have moved out with Brandon if I wasn't CERTAIN that I was going to marry him.  Trust me, I wouldn't choose to spend my life with any other man(weird)than him.  Anyways... that's all besides the point!  I started to really think about all of my "lasts" over the past few weeks that are never going to happen again and how much i'll miss them.  Today...yesterday...last year. 

Tonight willl be the last time I sleep in my own bed.

Tonight is the last time that I will sleep alone in my bed.

Tonight was the last night that I texted Brandon "Good night love, call you in the morning, I love you."

Tonight was the last night that Brandon walked me out to my car and kissed me good night.

Tonight was the last time i'd sleep under my parents roof.

This was the last week that I would have dinner with my parents every night.

Yesterday was the last day I kissed my mom goodbye and told her to have a good day as I left for work.

Tonight was the last night that I make the 17 minute drive home from B's home.

Tonight was the last time I'd call Brandon while I walked into my house so he knew that I had made it ok.

This morning was the last time i'd wake up at his house and tell him "I'm ready to go." so he could walk me out.

This week was the last week i'd wake up with Leeser and enjoy her company as we both got ready for work and school.  I'm going to miss that SO much.

These are just some of my lasts that I can think of as I lay here and i'm sure there are plenty more.  Of course, I do realize that there are exceptions to all of these, but in general, my life will change almost drastically as of tomorrow at 10 am, when the owner of the house hands over the keys to us and we walk in together and smile.  Brandon and I are both so excited to move to the next level in our relationship and to be starting this new part of our lives together.  We are going to learn so much more about each other and I can't wait.  This will be the first time we won't have to say good night to each other because we have to go home and wish we were right back at each others side.  It's going to be so great that he will be the last thing I see before I go to bed and the first thing I see when I wake up.  I am also sooo stinkin excited that I won't have to fight those random anxiety episodes that sneak up every so often and keep me up past 2 when I have to be up at 6...for some reason it never happends when i'm sleeping next to someone.  So, that is all that I needed to say for tonight and i'm just so excited!  That's all world... Good night ;)

love...cmar